Thursday, May 29, 2008

In effect

In effect
I’m here to listen
assist the ride
steady the tide.

In effect
I’ve got the answers
the questions
the poignant yet ambiguous

In effect
I’m sort of all knowing
sort of wise
inner strength glowing

In effect
I’m really not
I’m also lost
in the dark
I’m groping
the fading candle
at arm’s length
is all
that’s really glowing.

-Dhruv, May 26th 2008

Sunday, May 25, 2008


As I write this, it's the 26th of May. Before I know it, the halfway mark of '08 would be here. The sheer speed with which time has elapsed could not be better explained than through what has transpired over the last 3 odd weeks. A whirlwind comparable only to some times back in the @ days. Except the stakes are higher, much much much higher.

The problem with not having blogged or taken down the faithful 'notes' (a random reference - Microsoft Onenote is pretty awesome, get it if you're the kind who needs to write everything down for future reference in work/life etc) is the difficulty one faces in capturing it all. I saw some great movies, Iron man being the most entertaining of the lot. London happened last week. My first trip which was in itself a lightning quick 6 days considering the number of range of activities it entailed. That too on a raging temperature and antibiotics for the first couple of days.
Note to self: flying when sick sucks. British Airways has a decent in-flight program though. I watched a random Michelle Pfeifer moving en route to London and picked up the new Tom Hanks on the way back. Charlie Wilson's war. Not fantastic but with enough decent performances to be semi-enjoyable. I think a thorough book on the true story might do more justice on a creative level though.

I warn you, this is going to be one rambling post . I'm in no mood to make this pretty to read or a post that'll merit a return in the future. I feel like typing out some of those from time to time. Tonight however, amidst a slight haze around me, with delhi at it's muggy best and the disoriented bitchyness that coincides the return from a long flight and preoccupation - not to be.

For the first time in these last 3 months, I've experienced the feeling of giving a large bit of yourself to something held dangerously close on a professional level. The investments of time, money and pure 'soul' have been diverse. What is enlightening though is that it isn't as glorious and congratulatory as the entrepreneurial experience is made out to be. It's hard guts, blood and tears combined with the obsession of looking over your shoulder, making sure you're safe. The unknown clashes with the surroundings. Whilst there's no time to ponder and compare, the stories of the conventional are all around. The B-school entrants, the wasted lunatics that jump from one scholarship/institution to another with an insatiable need to soak in the academic experience, the self-righteous yet monotonously cheerful cogs in the multi-national wheel of fortune (does this sound derogatory ? because it's really not meant to be); the list is long and endless. This trip re-opened my eyes to situations I had shut off a long time ago. I had no desire to percieve the merit of my choices, there choices, yet I did. The result is supreme and unadulterated relief to be back home. Strum the guitar and rue the time lost originally dedicated for song-writing. That HAS to happen. It is going to be the savior amidst rocky times to come. The thing with rocky times is that there are some pretty lofty peaks. The lows I've almost been able to handle. It's when those peaks don't reach my expectations that things begin to look dreary.

Some elements have been sacrificed on the professional front . Why is it that pure dogged professionalism and excellence can't go hand in hand with a culture of comfort? I look forward to BS returning. Music holds many answers. I repeat- the savior.

Met Bee on the last day in London. Was an excellent reunion amidst a bit of tension. Thievery exists everywhere. Anyway, catching up with her was excellent. Stories of the year, road-maps of near and dear friends and as always- the future. Relationships, evolution, nostalgia. Over 2 hours with club sandwiches and tea. It was a nice closing to a crazy trip. I'll see more of you next time London. I think I owe you that much.

The sickness still holds on tight. I haven't enjoyed the sense of having taste buds for a week now. Characterizing food types on the basis of texture gets old after awhile. A pretty disgusting feeling to have. I can only pray and hope that it doesn't last long.

Onto more positive reminiscing. There were some awesome birthdays. D threw a killer scene for Ro to celebrate his 25th. I had spent the day shifting into KS' place and was fatigued of mind and body upon entering (late- for which I was lambasted to some extent). More then made up for it with random socializing and playing semi-host (which has become an invaluable skill that has been honed from a young age). Passed out and woke up with a start at the crack of dawn (well 7am really).

krant's bday followed a week later. Urban Pind has skills although apart from Thursday- the local spin king needs a check up from the neck up. Once again amidst a heavy week of work which led to the breakdown of the immune system. Extremely pissed off with myself for not having taken care of myself better, not having the ability to say no and not striking the balance which usually keeps me sane. I go back to that 'drive' which has emerged to make the most of 'this'. Not at the cost of Ma santé though. No way.

The new abode has been largely comfortable although I don't know how long the current set-up will last. Let's see. I finally need to get one of these because work demands it. Another investment but I'm sure I'll manage the much-needed balance with 24/7 on-call availability for all and sundry...

A closing word of advise to anyone reading this- DONT watch the darjeeling express or the darjeeling limited or whatever the hell its' called. Possibly the most pathetic movie of ALL time. I don't know why me and T do this to ourselves. Serious addicts with no quality control is what we've become...:)

June is upon us. A very important birthday draws near (thank the stars for you baby:)) and the visit of another old friend pumps up the excitement.

Is this release or mearly me enacting 'much ado about nothing'?

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

later alligator

Tonight's the last night at the abode of the last 2 years. As me and the phenomenon (V) sipped on our carlsberg's whilst beholding the arificially 'starlit' gurgaon skyline last night, we celebrated the independant goodness of the 2 years spent here.
It had been a blast. Ad-hoc @ parties, surprise birthday cakes, late night (and early morning) thievery of precious H2O from the neighbors, the see-sawing attendace of the variety of domestic help we employed, the tiffin that went from bad to good to worse to edible (or did our palate change?) , the guests from around the world, the sweaty nights that were the pre-invertor days, the fun of doing up our rooms (and the simplicity of the remaining portions:)), the fights over shared responsibilities, the late night returns in a state of inebriation...aah the list is long. And sweet.
Thanks V-28/15a - whilst you were bizarre in your construction, you gave me the distance and yet the proximity I needed post my return to the motherland. Come Saturday - you return to your naked origins. Take care of yourself.
Years later, I might drive by and point out the awesome balcony that is your exterior to the next generation of le chitgos. We might even come up to say hello.