Monday, September 29, 2008

the patient

A groan of tedium escapes me, startling the fearful.
Is this a test?
It has to be. otherwise I cant go on.
Draining patience. drain vitality.
This paranoid, paralyzed vampire acts a little old.

But Im still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. and Im still right
But Im still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. and Im still right

Im gonna wait it out

If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path Ive chosen here,
I certainly wouldve walked away by now.

Im gonna wait it out

If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along this tedious path Ive chosen here,
I certainly wouldve walked away by now.

I still may. and I still may.
Be patient.

I must keep reminding myself of this...

If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path Ive chosen here,
I certainly wouldve walked away by now.
And I still may. and I still may. and I still may.

Im gonna wait it out.
Im gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.

The Patient - Tool

Friday, September 26, 2008


since nomadlife has been giving me some trouble, im blogging here for a bit.

A restless and fairly mechanical week with the UHF and the 3rd of our seminars wrapping up today. The experience is fairly down pat but the desire to hand over that area of responsibility grows fairly considerably considering the fact there are 'other' fish to fry.

A dull headache appears (a feeling had before) with the realization that there is almost always 'something missing' - in every sense of the word. The fact that I was told that "the sort of people that seek ownership for activities rarely ever own anything in their life" was also a little disturbing and putting off especially considering the experience of a conversation that preceded this statement. This is all going to sound fairly esoteric to you- but who cares? I get it :)

There's a desire to be true to form and reduce the corrosion occurring from conformity (taken from 2 bands that I heard a lot of with the latter having a brilliant black sabbath cover...which one it was I forget now)

I saw an old friend cross the street as I drove past him late in the evening. He has become the size of a mini mountain and I regret ruefully that I havent called him in ages. We were supposed to go for early morning jogs and I was to share health tips. Not like I'm extremely healthy myself but yes, the basis discipline and balance is in place.

The plan now is to count backwards from the next big goal...more on that very soon. How it happens, shall be part of the excitement.

it's the little things

Amidst selling the hell out of a pretty phenomenal news distribution platform, driving new initiatives, hearing of drastic and unbelievable changes amongst close friends (as I shake my head with the platitude of 'everything changes but change' running through my head), finalizing trips to rishikesh with the college mafioso (HELL YES! - october 2nd weekend) and planning for the insanity of the coming 3 months..., I enjoy the little things.

Never Back down - a decent movie on mixed martial arts and the american teenage angst proved to be the find of the last week. Supplemented by a kickass soundtrack, the motivation to stretch that little extra bit in the gym every morning has been found. I can't get enough of feel good flicks :)

Other little things include the arrival of my GOF and barbara Keith purchases (finally!) - both of which I cherish on completely different levels.

D returns after a fortnight of fun in France and London - and boy am I glad. Caught up with her on Sunday over the musings and reflections that only long plane rides can give you. I nodded in frank acknowledgment - been there, done that my friend.

Little things galore. Goa NYE plans being concretized (I don't think that's a word but me, AD and KS used it one hell of a lot back in the day dating 04-05 whilst on the champions league in vikhroli). Should be a kickass 7 days and only a few minor logistics remain unattended.

A fanatical blast of rain beat away the humidity (albeit momentarily) this afternoon and one can only help it's the sign of gorgeous times to come in the northside. More little things.

Ok - now I hear the phone ringing and I've got to scoot. You guys can now think and thank the little things that bring a smile to your face.


chrome and other things

The new google chrome has got a thumbs up from me thus far. I am using it as a supplementary browser to good ol' I.E. but with advanced version expected soon, it might just become a mainstay.

What is also super cool is the comic that google has created to take one through the chrome's features and reasoning. Smart stuff!

Apart from the geeky updates, the last 2 weeks since the return from Beijing have been hellishly topsy-turvy to the extent that I can openly admit to being moody, depressive and damn near neurotic. It took some stabilizing conversations with friends in similar walks of life, the calming influence of the creators, the trust, judgment, objectivity and unconditional love from the partner in rhyme and crime as well as a late night of jamming and unwinding at Mr. Seth' to put things back in perspective. An evolved sense of understanding sets in as well as the realization that direction and focus has to leave one with an image of a horizon that could have been. Multiple horizons with multiple landscapes. Creating the rainbow of my landscape, not to mention the pot of gold lying at the end...

The entertainment and music has been sparse but enjoyable. Rock on was surprisingly good and I can't help but hate Farhan Akhtar for being so damn talented. The guy's got mad skills. ANyone thinking of watching it- should stop speculating and take the leap.

Bombay and Pune for a day this next week. working on building 2 organizations at a time now...I laugh head on with the challenges that lie ahead with a sense of excitement, curiosity and anticipation.

The month of September is an important one. A major birthday, a major anniversary, with some major and minor chords thrown in. Friends plan vacations whilst I struggle with the decision on whether the glorious beach town is going to be visited this december or not. December. That's another frigging important benchmark. Much reflection, evaluation and decision-making on next steps will take place with MAPL. The calibration (or re-calibration) of expectations shall occur at the 10 month mark. Kya hoga?

Got myself and the abode a subscription for TIME, the Achewood GOF, my own copy of the Fountainhead, the 5th HP and a gift for Niel all through some fun net-shopping these past few weeks. The ensuing bills will be a shocker but it was worth it :)

Enough rambling for now. Am helping a friend with one of his MBA essays so shall resume the efforts on that...perhaps this could be me not too long from now ? :) If I know..I'm not telling.